1. Wyoming


The Senator was meeting with his donors.
The fat cats there were getting mighty mad.
“How come the corporate tax rate isn’t zero?” they said.
Ol’ Mitch said “I don’t have the votes for that.”

The fat cats said “Well, Mitch, that’s not our problem.
If you can’t do, we’ll find some one who can.”
Then a fellow at the back named Van Spakovsky
Raised his hand and said he had a plan.

He said he could create
Seven new Republican states
By splitting Wyoming into eight.

(CHORUS): We’ll call ‘em North Wyoming, South Wyoming,
East Wyoming, West Wyoming,
Old Wyoming, New Wyoming,
Yellowstone and Cheyenne.”

The fat cat donors all had lots of questions.
Some of them were sure the plan was wrong.
“It’ll take a constitutional amendment,” they said,
“And the Democrats will never go along.”

But Mr. Van Spakovsky had the answer.
“We already have all the votes we’ll ever need.
Congressional approval and a thumbs up from the state,
And Wyoming will go down in history.”


The Democrats all howled in objection.
They shed a tear for equal protection.
But they couldn’t stop the change in direction,
Cause they lost too many seats in the last election

Soon fourteen right-wing ranchers joined the Senate,
With seven more House Republicans in tow.
And with twenty-one new votes in the Electoral College,
Elections now are mostly just for show.

So if you’re wondering why the air is all polluted,
Or why your health insurance went away,
Or why the wealthy don’t pay any taxes,
Or why you work a sixteen hour day,

Or if you’re wondering why the pill became illegal,
Or why your gay friends all wound up in jail,
Just remember Mister Van Spakovsky
He’s the man who put our country up for sale.